Long before Dancing with the Stars, the Vernon and Kelowna Singles’ Clubs kicked up their heels on weekends.  Most members grew up on American Bandstand and their mastery of the moves is the envy of the younger set.  Live bands play favourites at the Rutland Centennial Hall or the Vernon’s Army-Navy.  It’s a night out, good exercise and a chance to perhaps meet a special someone. 

Newcomers could use some tips, however.  
Arrive early because the seat-saving begins long before the lights dim or the band strikes its first chord.  Because women vastly outnumber the men most nights, ladies must concoct ways to stand out from the rest.  Many perch at table ends, for instance, next to the dancing, where ankle bracelets can grab a dude’s attention.  These dudes generally hug seats along the walls, protected there from surprise approaches.  They tilt chairs back to scout for new gals who might make it worth their while to actually dance.  

Unless you tucked and toned until you look good in leopard leotards, Ladies, choose ultra feminine fashions with lots of chiffon, glitter and frills.   Appear and behave much younger than you are, with lots of spunk and sparkling wit to demonstrate that you could spread a thick layer of energy and zest for life upon a partner’s morning toast — if you had a partner.  Understand up front as well, that you are unwanted competition among the hordes of other women, and if another deigns to talk to you, it is usually only to draw attention to herself.  If you do not wish to spend the entire night looking desperately desirable with only a pasted smile to keep you company, get over your notion about men doing the asking and drag those wall-huggers onto the dance floor! 

 
And never pass up a mixer, Ladies.  Unless you find the courage to ask, this may well be your single dance chance.   Men and women form lines at opposite sides of the hall.   The gents Two-Step each gal in turn from the front to the back of her line.  Women get about one round to the fellow’s five, and that exertion generally finishes them.  
Men, if you perspire heavily, change into dry shirts between sets!  Use mouthwash and get your teeth fixed!  Try not to spit when you are compelled to speak!  Give decisive dance leads!  Remark on the lady’s grace and beauty when you escort her back to her seat!  And, for crying out loud, try to remember her name!
Glamour is doused when the lights go on at 11:00 p.m.  Suddenly conscious of flopped hairdos and sweaty mascara rivulets, women respond to the harsh glare with a collective groan.  After lunch and prize draws, the crowd thins — except for those few couples who discovered romance somewhere between “Rock Around the Clock” and “Help Me Make It Through the Night.”  These will dance into the wee hours.   Everybody else hopes it will be their turn next week.

Barb Shave