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"T.J." - My friend, my confidant and my soul mate |
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I automatically stopped three times going down our driveway and waited for my buddy to rub his loyal assurance against me as we had done for 12 years on our morning routine to fetch the paper. Today our other two dogs stood at the top of the hill also confused. No barking. Nor romping. No playing. No rub. They both looked at me for reassurance that it was ok to come down. That was always T.J.'s job.
Yesterday, for the first time in his life, he did not have the energy to do our morning ritual. Something was really wrong. My wife and I knew that there were challenges he was facing with a back problems (he was 91 in Human years) but he was still the king of our castle. As a large breed dog we knew that there would soon come a time when his back would completely give out but this day was different. This was not just one of his "off days".
Two hours later we had to make "that" decision and within 20 minutes he was at peace. My neighbor, Burt, lost his dog two years ago...a Spaniel who lived to 14. These two were also a pair. Very rarely would you see one without the other. Burt shared, as close friends & animal lovers do, the pain of a man losing part of his life. It was two years before he was ready to accept a new puppy. As men we have an Adams apple and I swear it must have been placed there to slow us from crying. We have tears but our crying is usually done alone. I simply love my dog and will do so for the rest of my life. There usually is one animal that shines just a little brighter than any other "friend" we may have as we grow through life. Traveling Jack was mine. We connected. Forgiving, thoughtful and totally understanding. His eyes told all.
Throughout the day I could not help but mention his passing to friends and family and folks like the bank teller, the girls at Total Pet and pretty much anyone who asked "and how is your day going?" An amazing thing happened. It seemed I opened up a floodgate for everyone to tell me their story .The far off look of recollection and love everyone had and the anxiety of the five levels of death they all went through as well. Many had never had the opportunity to "let it go". There are hundreds of thousands of good critter people who know there is going to be a time that they have to deal with this ending. I saw a eulogy in the daily newspaper, a few months ago, about a special horse someone had lost. The writer shared her heart with the world and I truly respect that. I also respect Dr. Eliot Kaplan out at Tri-Lake in Winfield who had the professionalism and the empathy to help us through a very tough decision. It was hard on him as well as he had been with us for the 12 years.
We would like to mention a publication we stumbled upon as we were trying to accept the things we could not change. It was entitled, The Spirituality of Pets, by James Taylor. It would make a useful gift for any Crusty Old Man (or anyone) trying to put some sense to all these emotions. Please accept and remember to pass on a compassionate hug to the special folks who can and want to remember a true friend. You and your partner will never be alone if you remember we simply become an extension of their free spirit. |
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