WE are on a DIET'

Quickly, first of all, thank you all for your kind words regarding my sister's adventure with Salmonella. With the help of many, many people she has made it out of the Coma and now is in Rehab and is on a strict diet as the salmonella kicked her over into becoming diabetic; just one of the side effects. Speaking of a diet... (pretty good lead in right?) my wife and I are now on one as well. She is on a well-known one called Jenny Craig that supplies the food. Mine is called the 'Hunt and Peck' diet. Twenty- seven pounds and "two sizes" and my dearly beloved now has a spring in her step, a get up in her gitty-up and lots and lots of energy. No more K.F.C.; no more McDonalds; no more Montana's Baby Back Ribs. We now eat healthy. I compared notes with other 'fella's' who are on diets. Some on this one...some on the wide variety of other ones that are out there. We are all so very happy for our spouses (a smart response) and respond in support to the many mood changes. There is just one ittsy-bittsy problem ladies. Like an alcoholic working in a tavern, some parts of our diet don't quite mesh. With all this new found energy you have and that wonderful attitude of changing our daily routine to include walking the dog the long way around and going to bed early is crimping my 'set in my ways' that came along with the big screen T.V. and the Sports Channel. I am now a regular at M&M meats for lunches and dinners so that my diet has now adjusted to the microwave oven as well. Hungry Man's dinners (all filled with chemicals and sugar) as well as a whole new venue of breakfast cereal is a new part of MY diet as well as this place called Tim Horton's. I am hiding stuff, like candy, munches and the TV guide. There are stashes all over the house now and I find a kindred feeling with drug addicts and closet smokers. I swear she can hear the sound of a can of pop being opened at 200 yards and our dogs now give me immediate attention the minute they hear any candy wrappers being taken off as I am the only one they can mooch good stuff from now. I really didn't want to but there have been several precious pounds of insulation stripped from my body. I've already put on my long underwear. Quietly and with the modest determination and agreement we both took at the beginning, I fear that I might be slipping. Our relations and in-laws don't phone as much as they have in the past. Why? Because my crowing better half has made it know to all the overweight ladies and fellas in our family that she has won the battle of the bulge and can't understand why in heaven's name they all don't stop killing themselves and join her in her quest for senior beauty contestant for the year 2010. There is not one person in our family that is not overweight, tried any number of weight loss diets or simply given in to the statistic that we are all going to be fat in our old age: thus, a family of couch potatoes. Mind you, our phone bill has gone down drastically. Please don't get me wrong, dear reader. Oh, contraire. It is nice to have some spice back in one's life. Statistics prove that most women outlive men by up to 20 years or more and I think there is some basis for giving respect where respect should be given. I see it every day out there in "get fit and live life" slogans. If my wife wants to get fit at 60 plus and enjoy the remainder of her life above the green grass in Hawaii, all the power to her. Working hard and still able to take out the trash has and shall remain my job until Roy Rogers and I meet again. I may be a tad bit chubby yet I smile and take my medication knowing that my stash is secure.

 

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