Limerick Contest - Okanagan Theme PDF Print E-mail

Thank you to everyone who wrote in with an Okanagan limerick. You can enjoy more of them on our web page,
Several of those were written by staff members of our paper, so they were not in the running for the prize, but we enjoyed them and wanted to share them with our readers.

The winner: E.M. of Vernon
A handsome young lad from Armstrong
Slipped his right foot into his thong.
When a toad pinched his toe
The lad hollered, "Let go!"
But the toad croaked, "I'm coming along."

Honorable mention for confidence: G.P. Peachland

Peachland's great-the weather-the view
People are friendly, there's plenty to do.
Now come on you guys,
The Choice promised a prize.
This is the winner - send dinner for two!

Honorable mention for atmosphere: J.B. Summerland

There is a young lass from the valley
Who says, "Summer's right up my alley."
Her eyes become dreamy
When the temperature's steamy,
And she longs for a beach house in Bali.

We'll continue to add limericks to the web page as they come in, so keep checking.

There was a young lass from the lake
Whose tanning routine was to bake.
She had a great notion
To leave off the lotion,
Until her skin started to flake.

Limerick #1
The Reverend Avery Clock in his dark frock
Preached to the people in his flock.
He never owned an alarm clock
He was awakened by the crowing of his cock
Then he knew it was time to tend to his flock.

A Kelowna girl named Henrietta
Loved to wear a tight sweater
Three reasons she had
To keep warm wasn't bad,
But her other two reasons were better.
R.K. Vernon

I heard her call him Panda
The bear upon my veranda
He danced and he grinned
As my dahlia he pinned
In the hair of my sweet Miranda.
L.C. Quesnel

Said a rowing club member named Lynn,
Whose life was devoid of all sin.
When my virtue must go
I will know where to row,
'cross the lake, to the bin at Finn's Inn.

There once was a fellow named Snidge
On the left side of the lake, on a ridge,
Who just laughed at the fuss
Created by us
Over couplets, and traffic,and bridge.

In the valley where hockey is king
From Fall into Winter and Spring,
The greens have gone still
Because of the chill
And golfers have nowhere to swing.

There was a young man who was Dutch
He didn't speak English too much
He begged and beseeched me,
"Please, please - Would you teach me?"
And now, he speaks English, not Dutch!
M.S. Kelowna

Penticton, as everyone knows
Is a city where everything grows
Throw a seed in the dirt
And give it a squirt
And the plant is the height of your nose.

There was a brave sailor of note
Who was paid for the prose that he wrote.
But when he had time
He wrote pages of rhyme
To quote when afloat on his boat.

The is a young lass from the valley
Who says,"Summer's right up my alley."
Her eyes become dreamy
When the temperature's steamy,
And she longs for a beach house in Bali.
J.B. Summerland

There was a young lad from Kelowna
Who said, "Ogopogo's bologna!
But, just in case
He swims by my place
I promise I'll hurry to phone ya."

Penticton's where the action is at
Sandy beaches, golf, wine and all that
If you don't have a boat
There's the channel to float,
Just put on some lotion and do wear a hat.

Peachland's great - the weather - the view
People are friendly, there's plenty to do
Now come on you guys
The Choice promised a prize
This is the winner - send dinner for two!

When he came to visit Winfield
His fate was horribly sealed
He thought it was funny
When they said, "It's too sunny!"
So he slept on the beach, and he peeled!
-by G.H.P. Peachland

A pretty young lady, and tall
Took a lesson in golf at Spall
The pro was so taken
He ended up shaken
And the girl learned nothin' at all.
-E.M. Vernon

It's a valley that seldom gets rain
Not that the tourists complain
And the vintners keep grinning
As their products keep winning
But it's going to be hard to maintain.

The scientists can't tell us why
Each summer's increasingly dry
But if people and plants keep on drinking
The lake water's sure to keep sinking
Conservation is sure worth a try.
D.L. Vernon

A young lass from OK Centre
Wouldn't pay back the money they lent her.
So they towed off her car,
Cut her off at the bar,
I think they rather resent her.
- G.P. Peachland

There was a young lad in Oliver,
Whose dog was a cute little ball of fur.
But she wasn't too happy
And soon became yappy
When he scrubbed soapsuds over all of her.
- G.P. Peachland

There was a young woman of Dover
Who sat in a field of sweet clover
When a rabbit arrived
Quite cool and alive,
Said, "Move over, this spot is my clover."
-M.F. Kelowna

An old Westbank man named Fentley
Had a dip in Johnson-Bentley.
Then after his swim
He went to the gym
Where he exercised, very gently.
-G.P. Peachland

There was a young lad from Oyama
Who was always sassing his grandma.
She said, "That's enough!
I'm going to get tough."
And went to the shed for a hammah.
-G.P. Peachland

All Okanagan valley will be after you
Here's what I think that you'll have to do.
Tell Gord, that's enough
Of that horrible stuff!
Award him dinner with a draft or two.
-G.P. Peachland

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