That Darned Spaniel
I love golf. And hate it. Sometimes both on the same day!
I've been golfing for seven years. You'd think I'd be good by now but that just isn't the case.
I'm kind of athletic; walk the dog (that Darned Spaniel) without either of us getting run over in traffic, swim (do a classy dog paddle) cycle (let's not talk about the two trips to the ER, okay?) Yet, I'm still not a good golfer. I keep score by counting how many balls I lose in a day!
I started golf with good intentions. Took lessons, a full set of ten, one-half hour classes. Twice!
The first time I didn't practice what I had learned. I blame that on my full-time job at the time. Now I ask you, whom do you know works and golf well? One has to give. The second time I did lessons, more of it sunk in. Some of it I even remembered for a while. Especially the golf etiquette. You see, golf partners tend to reinforce your learning on the manners of golf. Things such as: don't talk to them while they're putting, don't stand near them while they tee off, don't act too happy when their balls ricochet off the trees, and so on.
You know what the hardest thing is about golf? (Here is the hate factor) There are too many variables that all have to be perfect at the same time to create a low score. Nothing else that I know has so many things that can go wrong at the same time. Take walking, for example. One step at a time, swing the arms, keep my eyes open - always works for me. But in golf, uh, uh. Get your handgrip right and any one of a dozen to fifty other things will be wrong. Back swing too fast or too slow. Too far from ball or too close. Gum in left cheek instead of the right. Cap on crooked. And on it goes.
Sure, it looks easy. Watch Mike Weir miss a putt and you join thousands of other golfers who say, "I could have sunk that." Except we don't have to do it with three-quarters of a million dollars depending on it and the TV cameras watching every time we scratch an itch.
The only thing that keeps me going back for more punishment on the golf course is a lesson I learned from That Darned Spaniel. This is, always enjoy a day out in the fresh air. If you are lucky enough to be walking on the green grass, even if the sun isn't shining or your partners left their golf manners at home, this is still a good place to be. Breathe deeply, smell the freshly cut grass, stretch mightily, take in the scenery...and bring lots of golf balls and patience. You'll need them.
(Bev Delyea is a former journalist, and wanna-be-good golfer, living in Fernie, BC)
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