Floating Coconuts
Seniors Choice June 2006
- Joel Rickard -
When I was about 8 years old we had a flood in our basement. Sure, there was often high water in Nose Creek (that flowed through Airdrie Alberta) which seemed every year to create small lakes along its path. As kids we would find this fun. Watching as the farmers scrambled to get their machinery onto higher ground. Lots and lots of bubbles where gophers used to live. Fun stuff. It was also amazing what the creek would bring down from upstream for all to see when the water subsided. Outhouses, lawn chairs, barbecues, a few road signs and lots and lots of beer bottles,some of which were full.
But we lived on high ground and never thought much of it until "our flood". As many folks still do, we used our basement for storage and hiding places we all had for our secret stuff. My dad had his little stash of home made wine. My sister was experimenting with making coconut wine with about 30 brown hairy mini-stills corked with wax. Little did she know that little brother had already discovered her little secret and had sampled the odd one. Mom had her batches of bottled pears and plums and, of course, the old photo albums.
Long story short, a water main broke and we woke up to the sounds of water running downstairs. The first one down and not being awake, running full tilt into what I thought was a couple of inches of water. The wood floating on top fooled me as I submerged into 3 feet of water. I should have known as the now floating coconuts were being stored on a shelf a couple of feet off the basement floor. I did not quite understand why everyone was so uptight, especially my dad. About two weeks later we were still cleaning up the mud and it took six months to repair all the drywall. My sister never did find out why all her coconuts were empty and just chalked it up to the flood. I found out recently why my father had "that look" when he first looked down into our new swimming pool. He kept mumbling something about the drain plug being still in and the water was cold - real cold.
That was then and this is now. With another wet spring there have been many frantic stories of folks trying to outguess and fight Mother Nature's game of watching humans trying to stop Noah's reminder of another bad joke. Companies like Stutters know only too well just how many people have not learned from past experience or high water years
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Oh, but we were smiling. We live on an old gravel pit way above any floodplain. No worries of floods here, just empathy and that unsettling reminder of times past.
"Why is there no hot water sweetheart?", I asked after coming in from working around the 'back 40'. "Have you been doing the dishes.....or the laundry?' "That's odd," I thought," There is hardly any water pressure either. Maybe I broke a line outside." "I did a wash this afternoon, but there should be lots of hot water by now."
You know how you have one of those unsettling feelings? Remember all those coconuts? In our case it was chunks of laminate from our new basement flooring that were floating around the bottom step of our stairs. Four inches of water...water everywhere. Yes, the drain plug was screwed closed
and I now know why. It is connected to the septic drain. Thank God for wet/dry vacuums and a wife that closes her ears to the colorful language as we discovered just how much stuff was at that three inches and under.
My wonderful, darling wife had put in a shaggy rug to be washed. Do you remember Walt Disney's "Merlin" where Mickey stole the magic wand and made the broom carry all the water buckets to fill the well? The more we sucked, the higher the water until I realized where it was coming from. The lid on the washer had stuck open and, for whatever reason, the sensor did not stop the water from running into the machine. We were lucky and caught it quickly and accepted the damage without going to the insurance. Most of the icky stuff was thrown out and a lesson well learned.
One week later. I am watching "Deal or No Deal". My wife comes home; goes downstairs to shut off the light...and screams - "Joel....we have another flood!!!" This time it was a split copper line that went outside for the garden hose. Again...a lot of "shucks" and "gosh darn its". Again, the wet/dry vac, mops, buckets and animals who knew from last time to be very, very quiet. The last of the rugs were pulled up and replaced with laminate because floodwater does bring out the smells of a hundred hidden animal secret hiding places. I will be putting a new four inch siding around the wall perimeters to hide the high water mark; and again, we were lucky as it could have been much, much worse. Electrical tape (another trick my dad showed me) now holds back the water from the spit pipe until I get another special piece of plumbing that goes out through the wall to replace the one that froze last year. I now know why my dad did not want to go anywhere for any length of time on holidays. As he was the one who did most of the electrical, plumbing, carpentry and maintenance at home - I too, have learned how to replace sinks, put in toilets and add that extra bit of wiring.
I am sure all of you remember a flood, or two....or more. Everyone I talked with so far about this little adventure threw them into their past nightmares.
Even in disasters there seems to be humor, though. On one of the pieces of laminate floating towards the wet/dry vacuum was my sister-in-law's toe ring she had misplaced on her last visit with us. How that ring got on that piece of wood is a mystery. Somehow toe rings and coconuts helps in understanding when the wife asks....about a hundred miles from home..... "Do you remember if I shut off the stove?" The stove I am not worried about. It is the water sprinkler I am not sure I shut off that turns me around. But, I don't tell her that.
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